Men like doing manly things.
It used to be hunting and clubbing baby seals on the ice. Nowdays such opportunities are limited and in any case frowned on. So what is “manly” seems to have evolved. It includes talking about cars (ala Top Gear, er I mean the Grand Tour), barbecuing meat, and, bizarrely, gadgets and electronics.
Hold on I hear you say: geeks are not manly. We’ll you might think so, but watch how the conversation takes off when you talk about buying a new phone, or when you say you need a new TV.
Being manly of course involves the need to demonstrate prowess and superiority. However rather than achieving this by wrestling a black bear to the ground in the wilderness, it now seems to come from in-depth knowledge of strange acronyms, functionality, prices and of course, deals.
Whether it’s the Top Gear team running-off some obscure lineage of predecessor car models, or your friend explaining Ultra 4K HD, arcane knowledge is part A of the gold standard in manliness.
Part B obviously comes back to size. And of course everything is a thinly disguised metaphor for your Johnson. No, not Boris. It is unquestioned that 60 inches is better than 42, or that 400 HP is clearly more befitting of your prowess than 120. So in addition to arcane knowledge, its important to extol the virtues of your physical assets in a manner that implies a proportionate stature in your personal, tangible assets.
There is also a Part C: value and deals. This is important to show that you’ve not been taken advantage of in your pursuit of size maximisation. I may have a childish need to have the biggest thing, but at least I got it at a bargain price. Of course, the there is the question of “what is a good deal”? Just because the chap at Currys told you its 30% off, doesn’t mean it isn’t twice the price of Argos! Here the internet comes into it’s own, and the truly manly can monitor the emergence of amazing deals just like a lion watching it’s prey move across the pampas. Want to see what I mean? Check out these TV deals.
Hold on. Let’s take a step back. Being manly now involves:
- expansive knowledge of arcane product features (e.g. ingesting marketing)
- needing to have the best / biggest / shiniest product or appendage
- meticulously monitoring pricing and deals
This isn’t what I signed up for! Bring back the good ol’ days when a fella could eat raw meat and then drag women back to his cave!